He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
