I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
