yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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