i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
