Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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