I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
