We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
