Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
