i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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