so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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