Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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