shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
