and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
