Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
