my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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