Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize