Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
