i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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