your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
