Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
