Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how drunk are you?
Several
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
