We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
