and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you still have your period?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize