i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
a search helicopter?!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
