i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
