forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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