i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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