dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
