We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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