Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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