i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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