I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
