I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
