What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
