Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They are going to name an STD after you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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