Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
