If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
