Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's never too late to be topless.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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