Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
