just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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