i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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