guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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