So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found the puke drawer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
