No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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