Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
