I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
