Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
