Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
