Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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