your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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