So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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