If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
