She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize