wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
