I'm gonna have a badass scar
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize