I heard we made out
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
