I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
