i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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