Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
