Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
