good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
