i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
