why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
