at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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