I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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