He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
