wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
