Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
