Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
