she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
