If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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