I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
