Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
