I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
