she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize