Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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