I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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