i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
nutella sex= disaster
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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